Heart Vibrations Reflections

Has it occurred to you that the perceptions you have of who you are affect how you treat others? I have questioned most of my life why prejudice, racism, and the strong need to dominate another whether it has to do with color, race, gender, ethnicity, religion, or beliefs of any kind exists. For one to feel superior to another, which establishes an inherent desire and self induced entitlement to have domination over another group or single person ,it is because the one wanting to squash another into powerlessness feels the other to be a perceived threat. I have long had a magnet that states “if I am alright with me, I have no need to make you wrong.” The underlying issue is fear driving the person wanting to prove the perceived person is beneath them , and needs to be put in their place, controlled, even extinguished . Really it is that the unhealed insecurity, inferiority, and feelings of inadequacy empower them to behave through actions proving they are above and better than those they attempt to oppress. 

In normal child development a child seeks acceptance, validation, and approval between the ages of five to twelve. Not getting these needs met often results in the birth of a sense of insecure inferiority. Unless this is resolved as the person goes through life, actions and behaviors will reflect the need to dominate over another.

I am a white woman who grew up in the sixties. I say I never saw color, but you know that is not exactly true. Of course I saw the difference in my skin color and another. What I did not understand was how could it be anywhere near right for a person to be treated less than because they were not white. I really got it by the time I was a high school freshman that I was given freely white privilege and my black friends were not, and I abhorred and hated this fact. I felt bad for people of color but no black person wants our sympathy. What is wanted is to TELL THE TRUTH . We need to call out people, our friends, our family, our co-workers who practice racism and prejudice. We need to admit we as white people have always been granted special privileges in our societies. We need to wake up and scream from the rooftops America and all countries , we have a big problem..we treat people of color differently and it has to stop! We are each equal . Say that repeatedly until your heart gets it. To my black friends I want to say loudly I, White woman of privilege, am sorry! I am not sorry you are of a different color. I am sorry you were not afforded the same privileges as I have been freely given, and I vow to do all I can to be part of the solution in changing this . I vow to call people out who I see treating you beneath them, on police racially profiling, maiming, even killing anyone solely on an unhealed need to dominate because of race and skin color. I vow to listen to every word of my oppressed brothers and sisters and stand with, for, and beside you as a reflection of myself because you are a Divine reflection. We are One species, and our land of chaos can be healed. It MUST start with telling the truth. Black lives matter because we are equal. If my words make you uncomfortable and disgustingly angry, I am glad. At least somewhere within you, you are recognizing your part in a very long standing problem, and just maybe you will become part of the healing of humanity.

When  I was younger I allowed my my problems, my pain(body), my issues, my false self to be the fuel behind my choices in jobs, relationships, where I volunteered, and in my actions. My emotions and feelings drove my choices.     What I have come to understand and claim is when I compromise my core values, the result almost always ends up in my feeling defeated, less than, burned out, lacking self confidence and self worth, and genuinely stressed out!     Somewhere along my path of living life it became crucial that I discovered what exactly were my core values and how did I keep compromising myself. I came up with some self questions to find out the answers. No one could do this for me. I had to get real with myself.     Here are only two questions I have embraced whether it is a company I work for, a relationship I am engaged in, or a situation I devote my time and energy with. 1. What is important to me?   2. What do I get from these things?     Knowing just these two critical things empowers and enables me to assess if the job, the friendship, the partnership, or the situation aligns with my core values. Only then will my inner motivation, that fuels and drives me express to the Universe and to myself my values. Only then will I be truly at peace, comfortable in my own skin, and be non-conflicted within all the areas that make up my life.     My personal greatest core values are integrity, communication( both listening and verbalizing), honesty, self-respect, commitment, authenticity, freedom, creativity, kindness, self-discipline, risk taking and courage.     Once a year, or more frequently ,if I find myself in conflict in any area, I look at these values, assessing if I am compromising myself.     You may want to ask yourself if you are compromising your values in one or more areas of your life. Remember denial is not a river in Egypt! Do you care if you are compromising ? Is it really worth it?  In my mind, if I am compromising my values for any reason it changes my passions and my very soul!

When I was a little girl it was my greatest pleasure to take off my shoes and socks and run through the grass,  mud, and ground. My Grandmother was forever telling me my feet were going to end up so wide that no one would find shoes to fit me! If that was meant to be a deterrent, it certainly did not work! 

Zoom forward several decades and almost daily, regardless of the weather (rain, snow, sun, hot, cold) one of the first things I do in the morning no matter where I am is to run outside, getting rid of my shoes and socks and do earthing on the grass and ground. It is one of my spiritual disciplines that feeds my soul.

When I first started barefootin’ and earthing I had no idea it went way back to indigenous roots, and I had no idea that science would study the effects of what I loved as a child to present evidence of how beneficial it actually is on our mind, body, and spirit!

It has been reported that as  direct contact with our earth gradually faded out from the time our ancestors walked barefoot or in moccasins/sandals Feeling the earth , we began experiencing electromagnetic instability.

The messages of the Ancient Ones kept telling me to honor the change from Summer into Autumn, to be like the Wise trees that serve as my protection and guardians on the incredible property on which I live. I felt, just like the strong oaks, willows, and pines I was shifting in my beliefs, perceptions, and energies. When we allow ourselves to let go of trying to figure out logically what has no logical answers, and to trust the  Ancient Teachings ,Wisdom of Nature ,and Natural Laws to unfold, incredible events come to pass. Our world has changed and those who try to use prior ways to work through current situations just may discover those ways are now archaic, and no longer valid. Using the old ways will bring more fear, more anger, and more frustration. We must be willing to embrace a new paradigm if we are to live in peace and harmony today.

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It seems the rhythm of my mind, body, spirit goes in cycles. The past few years when I have been about to experience a transformational change my body tells me it wants me to make a change in how and what I ingest. I happen to believe our body never lies and it holds much wisdom, so if we listen to what it really wants and what it tells us, we are able to make incredible changes that impact us significantly. Likewise, when we refuse to listen to our body’s messages, we get to pay dear consequences until we once again surrender and begin listening and following through with actions requested!

In 1995 I began remembering a series of repressed childhood memories that were quite painful, and after struggling to survive them (along with the help of a great therapist), my body decided it wanted to give up eating meat so I became a vegetarian. I suppose because of the horrendous year I had just walked through I was wrapped rather tightly emotionally so not only did I give up meat but I also became adamant killing animals for any reason went against my values so I gave up wearing leather, using any animal by products, and protested against the fur industry. Yes, wrapped tightly! I finally decided maybe I was taking this animal thing too far so though I remained vegetarian I did go back to wearing leather shoes and clothing!

A few years later, I worked in a series of out of state temporary jobs and one of those places was in coastal Maine. I had a thought…gee in Maine on the coast…I should eat lobster. Then I thought other seafood would be good…then one day thought a pork chop would be great. Well, so I did begin eating fish, seafood meat, and of course at first was sick for I had cleared my body out from eating all meat, fish, and seafood. However, before long I was back to eating meat daily, not listening to my body. I did get to pay some consequences such as mild depression returned, I stopped listening to inner messages that always help me, my thyroid function changed , and my co-dependency that had been with me since adolescence returned in full force. Prior to this I thought I had worked hard on all my issues. Maybe I had, but it does not seem to me it was coincidence that once I began eating in a less than healthy way again that my inner world seemed to return to old ways of doing life.

Fast forward to a few more years ahead. It now was 2004. My significant other was diagnosed with a disease that would take him out of this world. My body told me once again it wanted me to be a complete vegetarian. I listened and gave up meat. Occasionally, maybe once a year, I ate salmon. I felt stronger in every aspect as I watched my boyfriend slowly deteriorate as he got closer to his death which did come in mid 2005. Another transformation preceded by another message from my body’s wisdom. I was seeing clearly the correlation.

At the end of 2012 my body insisted I do a cleanse/detox. I had gained 20 pounds and could not lose it. I was going to a gym 1-2 x a week, doing yoga, but kept this weight on my petite body. Hearing my body’s messages often is not enough, but somehow the Universe provides people and actions to go along with the messages. I met someone at an event who shared with me a system of detox/cleanse that I “might want to try”. I did try it and for 28 days I was sugar free, soy free, and gluten free. At the end of the 28 days I had more energy than I had experienced since I was 9 years old! I never to this day have returned to eating gluten or wheat. One main reason is the times I have mistakenly been given gluten/wheat I have gotten very sick instantly. I know I am ultra sensitive to its effects. The following year, 2013, was a huge transformation. I went to Chaco Canyon, NM for the first time(I have since returned there every year ) and had huge mystical experiences. That same year, 2013, I met two men who would become life long friends and two of my greatest supporters of the life I live. Following my new diet I joined a gym and began working out daily.My body told me it wanted to receive a daily morning meal of green juice with protein powder, and I complied. At age 62 in 2014 I went to N. California to work temporarily, feeling the best I had ever felt in my adulthood. Three months into my work assignment 24 pounds fell off of me in a two week period! I figured it took that long for being gluten free, working out, etc. for it to catch up to my body. One month later I suffered what I call my brain opportunity…a major brain bleed that ended up with miraculous healing! I did not have to go to rehab and I healed in a few months with no complications or problems! No food/drink changes came with this event but a total life change came as I had to slow down almost to a halt while my brain and body healed/ repaired itself. I could not do yoga or go to the gym or even drive for a few months, but my whole body began giving me messages I was to do alternative healing work for others. I was already highly intuitive since childhood and a Reiki Master since 2006 , and it seemed by whole mind, body, spirit was telling me a secret: I had been denying for many years I came to this earth to help the planet and others to heal! Somehow I had not heard this message until a brain opportunity slowed me down so much I could hear nothing else but this message, and Listen I did!

During the past two years I have relocated to another state, and my mind/body/spirit began giving me not so much food/drink messages but messages that if I was willing to accept and receive joy that I could manifest just about anything that would bring me happiness! If I enumerated the incredible things coming to fruition right now, it would amaze you…as much as it amazes me. Blessing after blessing, incredible psychic and healing skills have appeared, friendships and opportunities of a great quality have shown up, and I live in a paradise surrounded by magical trees, wildlife, and more.

Now comes the newest message from my body. In December, 2018 my body began telling me I need to once a week do a water fast. I wanted to resist! I had experienced one little change in my body. Still eating a very healthy diet, still drinking a green protein drink daily, still working out 3x a week, my stomach began being bloated. No logical reason..but enough change to get my attention…My body was talking to me again! So I decided I would try a water fast…not sure I could succeed. It sounded rather radical! I told myself I would start it in February and a dear friend told me she would partner with me in this fast. She lives on the opposite coast as I but we agreed on Wednesdays we would only ingest water for approximately 24 hours. So we began one week ago.

Changes during that first fast for me were interesting. One, I did crave crunchy food, my favorite craving , four different times. I drank more water during those times. I noticed I was very still all day and night, not wanting to fill my time with projects, writing, or even ideas! I have been a meditator for 33 years , do not own a tv, am relatively quiet, but the fact I did not want to distract myself for 24 hours was different. The following day it took me a while to drink my green drink. I did not really want to eat or drink, but eventually I did. My friend and I checked in with each other a few times during our first water fast and once as I was sharing about some emotional feelings, I noticed a craving for fried chicken and gravy (which has not been consumed by me for 15 years!). I did have an hour during my fast day that I shook and cried deeply . I knew it was a release I needed and had no idea I even held it inside my body! When I wanted to eat on the fast day I could not tell if I was hungry or if it was the usual time I fed myself so my inner clock was dinging it was meal time! Or was I wanting to stuff a feeling or a thought? I am not sure yet.

So…tomorrow is another Wednesday Water Fast day. I will drink a cup of coffee, then several liters of well water, and I may try a cup of hot tea with a small bit of honey and listen to my body. I know my body is getting re-set with each time I choose to fast. It is exciting that I can even fast all day/night with only liquids for I was not sure I could do it! I know my body is preparing me for something totally incredible that is going to reveal itself as a result of this change of eating/drinking by water fasting. Really, I can hardly wait to see how my life unfolds at this point!

My main message to you, my dear readers, if there is one…is listen to the messages of your mind, body, and spirit. So much wisdom is there. I am very sure we have all the answers we need within us, if we will just listen and follow through. Even we do not follow through, our bodies give us a few chances to experience success and happiness . Then there are those consequences if we keep refusing to listen…but I am sure you are not nearly as rebellious as I can be! Happy Listening!!!