Pandemic : A Sea of Triggers Calling For Consistent Self Care


Survivors of narcissistic relationships, childhood trauma, dysfunctional partnerships or family of origin, controlling parents or bosses, participation in any past emotional or physical battles, and numerous other experiences may have discovered since the world changed bringing the increased stress of the yet to end Pandemic that past triggers have once again raised their insidious heads. Many who had done so much inner work to find their triggers successfully managed in the past yet once again may be feeling a sense of overwhelming shame or despair.

Triggers are physical and/or emotional imprints that can re-emerge when certain smells, sounds, feelings, or tastes are experienced. These triggers are those feelings of being uncomfortable in our own skin which may include situations we would rather not revisit triggering emotional and even physical responses in our body including: betrayal, feeling unheard or ignored, feeling abandoned, feeling shamed, powerlessness, feeling judged, feeling someone is controlling you, feeling someone trying to smother you out of their neediness, feeling alone without any support, someone coming onto you inappropriately or sexually, or someone being too busy to make time for you.

Instead of healing from our emotional triggers we may employ distraction or avoidance techniques that never really worked such as getting angry, acting needy, blaming someone for our pain, using an addiction ( alcohol, drugs, sex, food, etc.), emotionally shutting down, or become overly controlling.

If we knew and remembered our triggers are a gateway and portal to our authenticity, we would affirm they jumped back into our experiences to inform us about ourselves and areas within where we need to heal.
Having a toolbox of self caring solutions is crucial, especially living in such a changed and tipsy-turvy world that feels out of control.

Some helpful strategies:

*Feel the trigger in your body. Our body is our friend and barometer. It never lies to us! Simply observe when triggers appear. * Begin inventorying and ask “ Why am I reacting? What is up with me?” We sometimes want to attack another emotionally or even physically for words or actions that triggered us but that does not help us heal. It only disrespects and causes tensions with another. * Spend time with yourself solo . If you feel degraded or shamed, ask what you are needing in the moment. If you are feeling afraid, ask what are you afraid of and is this fear real? How in this moment can you partner with yourself and become your own Mother and Father to look at the situation with a different perspective.

More Self Care Ideas

*Deep breathing with exhalation *Sing loudly *Dance *Go for a walk in nature *Journal * Run through grass barefoot * Exercise or do yoga * Text or call a friend
*Work with a personal coach to learn how to re-program old and recycled triggers

Write a safety plan and keep it available to yourself! I am a huge fan of sticky notes that I place on walls and mirrors. Self care is self love and we each deserve as much love as we can muster!


Excellent self care apps to check out:

*Happify *Brain.fm *Headspace *Pacifica *Worry Watch *Insight Timer *Jour *Mend *Shine *#SelfCare *I am *Aloe Bud *Sanity&Self *Joy *Sparkle

Remember we are in this thing called life together!

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The Misunderstood Practice of Surrender

Posted byJennyePosted inLife

Most of us have strong ideas of what we want to receive, obtain, and experience whether it is a certain relationship, job, home, money, health, or peace of mind. We get the idea in our thoughts, focusing, even obsessing on how, who, what, and when the illusive situation will drop onto our silver platter of life. This goal and obsession may even flood our ever waking moments so much we put other important activities on hold as we become totally involved in getting what we want when and the way we must have it!

Then after weeks, months,maybe even longer goes by and we have not received that illusive goal , we may start considering maybe it is time to let it go. However, our ego fights with us demanding YES I can still figure a way to control this and get what I want. Following that thought we may notice tenseness in our body, not sleeping well, venting and saying things to others we really wish we had not said, and the rising of emotional disturbance within us. 

We may even say we want to surrender but the question is are we really willing to do so? At what cost will we allow our control freak ego within to step aside and we finally become willing to let go…and how do we even start to do that? Perhaps it will help to understand what surrender is and is not……

Surrender is not evidence we have failed. It is not using will power to let go. It is not exactly acceptance that “it is what it is”. Surrender is the place we reach when we know we do not know what to do, how to do it, or if our life will be any happier with or without getting what we were so sure we wanted. It is the moment of “OH GOD”…I cannot go on doing this to myself. 

The second of surrender is simple, easy. It is the agonizing journey and pathway getting there that is painful. Once we surrender we finally exhale all that control, all that anguish, all those emotions we have been holding so tightly onto. We breathe freely. We literally see the end of our self imposed suffering. So must I, you, and we as human beings keep facing situations that we must try to control (which is an illusion anyway!) or is there another choice?

Trust me I have been there many times in my life, and today more than ever I see how much time and energy I have expended and wasted trying to control those things I cannot change. I came up with this plan. I call it a practice.

Every morning once I am fully awake I say aloud: What do I need to surrender? There are usually multiple things! Then I say aloud again…am I willing to surrender this, these things, thoughts, ideas? After practicing this for a while I have come to the awareness more often than not I am willing to surrender not because I am a saint (because I ain’t!) but because with each day of this practice I see what a struggle my ego presents to me daily in trying to control something I literally have no control over! My practice has awakened and opened my eyes a little bit more. 

Once I understood that surrender is not about something I need to become a Nun or a Monk over…that it is really the ability and intention to ahhhh exhale into trusting the process of the Universe and that I do not have to force anything to happen…just enjoy peace because now I know it really is safe to exhale control and angst and let go. I think I will consider this day…just living in the precious moment of going with the flow…WHAT A CONCEPT!

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Why We Are Living In The Land Of Chaos

Has it occurred to you that the perceptions you have of who you are affect how you treat others? I have questioned most of my life why prejudice, racism, and the strong need to dominate another whether it has to do with color, race, gender, ethnicity, religion, or beliefs of any kind exists. For one to feel superior to another, which establishes an inherent desire and self induced entitlement to have domination over another group or single person ,it is because the one wanting to squash another into powerlessness feels the other to be a perceived threat. I have long had a magnet that states “if I am alright with me, I have no need to make you wrong.” The underlying issue is fear driving the person wanting to prove the perceived person is beneath them , and needs to be put in their place, controlled, even extinguished . Really it is that the unhealed insecurity, inferiority, and feelings of inadequacy empower them to behave through actions proving they are above and better than those they attempt to oppress. 

In normal child development a child seeks acceptance, validation, and approval between the ages of five to twelve. Not getting these needs met often results in the birth of a sense of insecure inferiority. Unless this is resolved as the person goes through life, actions and behaviors will reflect the need to dominate over another.

I am a white woman who grew up in the sixties. I say I never saw color, but you know that is not exactly true. Of course I saw the difference in my skin color and another. What I did not understand was how could it be anywhere near right for a person to be treated less than because they were not white. I really got it by the time I was a high school freshman that I was given freely white privilege and my black friends were not, and I abhorred and hated this fact. I felt bad for people of color but no black person wants our sympathy. What is wanted is to TELL THE TRUTH . We need to call out people, our friends, our family, our co-workers who practice racism and prejudice. We need to admit we as white people have always been granted special privileges in our societies. We need to wake up and scream from the rooftops America and all countries , we have a big problem..we treat people of color differently and it has to stop! We are each equal . Say that repeatedly until your heart gets it. To my black friends I want to say loudly I, White woman of privilege, am sorry! I am not sorry you are of a different color. I am sorry you were not afforded the same privileges as I have been freely given, and I vow to do all I can to be part of the solution in changing this . I vow to call people out who I see treating you beneath them, on police racially profiling, maiming, even killing anyone solely on an unhealed need to dominate because of race and skin color. I vow to listen to every word of my oppressed brothers and sisters and stand with, for, and beside you as a reflection of myself because you are a Divine reflection. We are One species, and our land of chaos can be healed. It MUST start with telling the truth. Black lives matter because we are equal. If my words make you uncomfortable and disgustingly angry, I am glad. At least somewhere within you, you are recognizing your part in a very long standing problem, and just maybe you will become part of the healing of humanity.

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Are You Compromising Or Aligning Your Life Choices?

When  I was younger I allowed my my problems, my pain(body), my issues, my false self to be the fuel behind my choices in jobs, relationships, where I volunteered, and in my actions. My emotions and feelings drove my choices.     What I have come to understand and claim is when I compromise my core values, the result almost always ends up in my feeling defeated, less than, burned out, lacking self confidence and self worth, and genuinely stressed out!     Somewhere along my path of living life it became crucial that I discovered what exactly were my core values and how did I keep compromising myself. I came up with some self questions to find out the answers. No one could do this for me. I had to get real with myself.     Here are only two questions I have embraced whether it is a company I work for, a relationship I am engaged in, or a situation I devote my time and energy with. 1. What is important to me?   2. What do I get from these things?     Knowing just these two critical things empowers and enables me to assess if the job, the friendship, the partnership, or the situation aligns with my core values. Only then will my inner motivation, that fuels and drives me express to the Universe and to myself my values. Only then will I be truly at peace, comfortable in my own skin, and be non-conflicted within all the areas that make up my life.     My personal greatest core values are integrity, communication( both listening and verbalizing), honesty, self-respect, commitment, authenticity, freedom, creativity, kindness, self-discipline, risk taking and courage.     Once a year, or more frequently ,if I find myself in conflict in any area, I look at these values, assessing if I am compromising myself.     You may want to ask yourself if you are compromising your values in one or more areas of your life. Remember denial is not a river in Egypt! Do you care if you are compromising ? Is it really worth it?  In my mind, if I am compromising my values for any reason it changes my passions and my very soul!

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Opportunity to access ancient wisdom with Jennye in tapping into nature beings, nature spirits, your unique Animal Medicine guides! Individual session or package of 3, 4, or 6 classes by telephone, Skype, or zoom. Email with your interest : jennye@heartvibrationshealing.com

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New Reiki Classes in 2020

Heart Vibrations Healing is currently taking waiting list for Certification Classes for Usui-Holy Fire III Reiki Levels 1 and 2. We will include working with Crystals and Crystal Grids AND Sacred Sound of Drumming, Rattling, and Toning. Set your intention by contacting us at Jennye@heartvibrationshealing.com

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Barefootin’

When I was a little girl it was my greatest pleasure to take off my shoes and socks and run through the grass,  mud, and ground. My Grandmother was forever telling me my feet were going to end up so wide that no one would find shoes to fit me! If that was meant to be a deterrent, it certainly did not work! 

Zoom forward several decades and almost daily, regardless of the weather (rain, snow, sun, hot, cold) one of the first things I do in the morning no matter where I am is to run outside, getting rid of my shoes and socks and do earthing on the grass and ground. It is one of my spiritual disciplines that feeds my soul.

When I first started barefootin’ and earthing I had no idea it went way back to indigenous roots, and I had no idea that science would study the effects of what I loved as a child to present evidence of how beneficial it actually is on our mind, body, and spirit!

It has been reported that as  direct contact with our earth gradually faded out from the time our ancestors walked barefoot or in moccasins/sandals Feeling the earth , we began experiencing electromagnetic instability.

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Listening

The messages of the Ancient Ones kept telling me to honor the change from Summer into Autumn, to be like the Wise trees that serve as my protection and guardians on the incredible property on which I live. I felt, just like the strong oaks, willows, and pines I was shifting in my beliefs, perceptions, and energies. When we allow ourselves to let go of trying to figure out logically what has no logical answers, and to trust the  Ancient Teachings ,Wisdom of Nature ,and Natural Laws to unfold, incredible events come to pass. Our world has changed and those who try to use prior ways to work through current situations just may discover those ways are now archaic, and no longer valid. Using the old ways will bring more fear, more anger, and more frustration. We must be willing to embrace a new paradigm if we are to live in peace and harmony today.

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Information!!!

Find my blog at www.jaguarwind.blog

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