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It seems the rhythm of my mind, body, spirit goes in cycles. The past few years when I have been about to experience a transformational change my body tells me it wants me to make a change in how and what I ingest. I happen to believe our body never lies and it holds much wisdom, so if we listen to what it really wants and what it tells us, we are able to make incredible changes that impact us significantly. Likewise, when we refuse to listen to our body’s messages, we get to pay dear consequences until we once again surrender and begin listening and following through with actions requested!
In 1995 I began remembering a series of repressed childhood memories that were quite painful, and after struggling to survive them (along with the help of a great therapist), my body decided it wanted to give up eating meat so I became a vegetarian. I suppose because of the horrendous year I had just walked through I was wrapped rather tightly emotionally so not only did I give up meat but I also became adamant killing animals for any reason went against my values so I gave up wearing leather, using any animal by products, and protested against the fur industry. Yes, wrapped tightly! I finally decided maybe I was taking this animal thing too far so though I remained vegetarian I did go back to wearing leather shoes and clothing!
A few years later, I worked in a series of out of state temporary jobs and one of those places was in coastal Maine. I had a thought…gee in Maine on the coast…I should eat lobster. Then I thought other seafood would be good…then one day thought a pork chop would be great. Well, so I did begin eating fish, seafood meat, and of course at first was sick for I had cleared my body out from eating all meat, fish, and seafood. However, before long I was back to eating meat daily, not listening to my body. I did get to pay some consequences such as mild depression returned, I stopped listening to inner messages that always help me, my thyroid function changed , and my co-dependency that had been with me since adolescence returned in full force. Prior to this I thought I had worked hard on all my issues. Maybe I had, but it does not seem to me it was coincidence that once I began eating in a less than healthy way again that my inner world seemed to return to old ways of doing life.
Fast forward to a few more years ahead. It now was 2004. My significant other was diagnosed with a disease that would take him out of this world. My body told me once again it wanted me to be a complete vegetarian. I listened and gave up meat. Occasionally, maybe once a year, I ate salmon. I felt stronger in every aspect as I watched my boyfriend slowly deteriorate as he got closer to his death which did come in mid 2005. Another transformation preceded by another message from my body’s wisdom. I was seeing clearly the correlation.
At the end of 2012 my body insisted I do a cleanse/detox. I had gained 20 pounds and could not lose it. I was going to a gym 1-2 x a week, doing yoga, but kept this weight on my petite body. Hearing my body’s messages often is not enough, but somehow the Universe provides people and actions to go along with the messages. I met someone at an event who shared with me a system of detox/cleanse that I “might want to try”. I did try it and for 28 days I was sugar free, soy free, and gluten free. At the end of the 28 days I had more energy than I had experienced since I was 9 years old! I never to this day have returned to eating gluten or wheat. One main reason is the times I have mistakenly been given gluten/wheat I have gotten very sick instantly. I know I am ultra sensitive to its effects. The following year, 2013, was a huge transformation. I went to Chaco Canyon, NM for the first time(I have since returned there every year ) and had huge mystical experiences. That same year, 2013, I met two men who would become life long friends and two of my greatest supporters of the life I live. Following my new diet I joined a gym and began working out daily.My body told me it wanted to receive a daily morning meal of green juice with protein powder, and I complied. At age 62 in 2014 I went to N. California to work temporarily, feeling the best I had ever felt in my adulthood. Three months into my work assignment 24 pounds fell off of me in a two week period! I figured it took that long for being gluten free, working out, etc. for it to catch up to my body. One month later I suffered what I call my brain opportunity…a major brain bleed that ended up with miraculous healing! I did not have to go to rehab and I healed in a few months with no complications or problems! No food/drink changes came with this event but a total life change came as I had to slow down almost to a halt while my brain and body healed/ repaired itself. I could not do yoga or go to the gym or even drive for a few months, but my whole body began giving me messages I was to do alternative healing work for others. I was already highly intuitive since childhood and a Reiki Master since 2006 , and it seemed by whole mind, body, spirit was telling me a secret: I had been denying for many years I came to this earth to help the planet and others to heal! Somehow I had not heard this message until a brain opportunity slowed me down so much I could hear nothing else but this message, and Listen I did!
During the past two years I have relocated to another state, and my mind/body/spirit began giving me not so much food/drink messages but messages that if I was willing to accept and receive joy that I could manifest just about anything that would bring me happiness! If I enumerated the incredible things coming to fruition right now, it would amaze you…as much as it amazes me. Blessing after blessing, incredible psychic and healing skills have appeared, friendships and opportunities of a great quality have shown up, and I live in a paradise surrounded by magical trees, wildlife, and more.
Now comes the newest message from my body. In December, 2018 my body began telling me I need to once a week do a water fast. I wanted to resist! I had experienced one little change in my body. Still eating a very healthy diet, still drinking a green protein drink daily, still working out 3x a week, my stomach began being bloated. No logical reason..but enough change to get my attention…My body was talking to me again! So I decided I would try a water fast…not sure I could succeed. It sounded rather radical! I told myself I would start it in February and a dear friend told me she would partner with me in this fast. She lives on the opposite coast as I but we agreed on Wednesdays we would only ingest water for approximately 24 hours. So we began one week ago.
Changes during that first fast for me were interesting. One, I did crave crunchy food, my favorite craving , four different times. I drank more water during those times. I noticed I was very still all day and night, not wanting to fill my time with projects, writing, or even ideas! I have been a meditator for 33 years , do not own a tv, am relatively quiet, but the fact I did not want to distract myself for 24 hours was different. The following day it took me a while to drink my green drink. I did not really want to eat or drink, but eventually I did. My friend and I checked in with each other a few times during our first water fast and once as I was sharing about some emotional feelings, I noticed a craving for fried chicken and gravy (which has not been consumed by me for 15 years!). I did have an hour during my fast day that I shook and cried deeply . I knew it was a release I needed and had no idea I even held it inside my body! When I wanted to eat on the fast day I could not tell if I was hungry or if it was the usual time I fed myself so my inner clock was dinging it was meal time! Or was I wanting to stuff a feeling or a thought? I am not sure yet.
So…tomorrow is another Wednesday Water Fast day. I will drink a cup of coffee, then several liters of well water, and I may try a cup of hot tea with a small bit of honey and listen to my body. I know my body is getting re-set with each time I choose to fast. It is exciting that I can even fast all day/night with only liquids for I was not sure I could do it! I know my body is preparing me for something totally incredible that is going to reveal itself as a result of this change of eating/drinking by water fasting. Really, I can hardly wait to see how my life unfolds at this point!
My main message to you, my dear readers, if there is one…is listen to the messages of your mind, body, and spirit. So much wisdom is there. I am very sure we have all the answers we need within us, if we will just listen and follow through. Even we do not follow through, our bodies give us a few chances to experience success and happiness . Then there are those consequences if we keep refusing to listen…but I am sure you are not nearly as rebellious as I can be! Happy Listening!!!
I just returned from the place I go once a year for a solo personal retreat. Each time I go I experience a deeper spiritual awareness yet it also is a validation of how simple finding inner peace is.
As I hiked alone through desert terrain close to spacious mountains I knew I was in Divine Partnership with the planet. Each footstep I took increased my connection to my innermost self and to the precious land. Thoughts of every other being whose feet had touched the same land in the recent and very distant past empowered me to embrace all time…my own personal history as well as that of humanity.
This sweet, yet passionately emotional feeling came over me. I knew in the depths of my soul no matter how high spiritually I travel the secret for all who have passed through this world and for myself is this fact. Peace is attained when we each honestly accept ourselves for exactly who we are and who we have been in each precious moment. So simple! No need to analyze, to judge, or to search. Just living in between the inhale and exhale of each breathing moment is the answer.img_8578
There is nothing to fear, nothing to figure out. All we each need to do is just to BE…and let the magical life unfold as we witness the wonderment!
I thanked the desert for reminding me once again the truth has always been within my heart… not in my brain as my ego wants to believe! Nature always is waiting patiently to teach me more of the same lesson….just breathe in the moment. That is where the peace exists!
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I have been aware for years that relationships offer me the greatest opportunity to grow, and that being said, offer at times the greatest challenges. Recently I have been repeating this mantra to my heart and to my brain. It goes like this: “ When I consciously allow the other person to be who he/she needs to be in the present moment, without my needing or trying to change them, manipulate, or control them to live life according to my agenda, I am loving that person unconditionally.”
I have been applying this idea to ALL relationships, romantic partners, relatives, friends, co-workers, even clients. Taken further, I can apply this to myself by loving and accepting who I am in the moment without judging or treating myself in an unloving way.
When I am loving myself and taking loving actions for and with myself, I am more open to receive and attract harmonic relationships in all areas of my life. However….What if we cannot love ourselves? Believe me, I have known the challenge of looking deeply at myself in a mirror, trying to love what was staring back! The hardest love I have had to experience is self love.
I began the journey of self love a long time ago. The truth, I unearthed, was not that it was some impossible task as much as my fears about it overrided every piece of me! My biggest fear was that I had never been…and could never be ENOUGH! I further discovered buried under this Fear Animal were layers of guilt, shame, and feelings of unworthiness! I carried deep in my unconsciousness false beliefs of why I was unlovable…especially to myself! All this monkey mind self talk came from messages of others (who also did not love themselves!) and I bought into them hook, line, and sinker…and sink I did into self loathing for many years. I kept trying to find love outside of myself—-alcohol, men, career, education, nicotine, being skinny…anything to fill that hole in my soul. Problem was all were just temporary fixes of instant gratification. I even tried “ good fixes” like yoga, gym workouts, hiking, etc. I was still searching outside of myself for an answer to an inside job!!
Finally I realized , through much gut wrenching pain, that all these attempts with all these negative thoughts I was making myself feel terrible about..were life long patterns..patterns I had no control over. These patterns were controlling me! It was only when I really saw and began to comprehend what my internal chattering was doing to me and how it had been created, that I became willing to do deep inner work…and began to want to receive JOY!
Once I began receiving, accepting, and experiencing joy, Lo and behold my relationships began to change! Those who had been my greatest teachers , the partners- friends- co workers, all who were reinforcing my fearful self loathing beliefs, began to fall apart, disappear and leave my life. The more I opened to receiving unconditional love in practicing more self love, the more new relationships showed up in every area of my life!
Still being a “human doing”, at times fears come up but now I know fears are only there to be embraced and transformed. They are only red flags to grab my attention and whisper “ psssst Are you loving yourself right now?
Finding harmony in relationship with myself, and with others is really simple….unless I choose to complicate it by forgetting the answer does not lie outside of myself, but lives within my own unique heart and spirit.
link to hear Jennye on 12radio on 12/12/18 with Elizabeth Lindsay on Angel With An Edge : http://www.12radio.com/hosts/86BA8AB581692033/elizabeth_12_12_20185.mp3
A tree never forgets its roots anymore than I can forget the skin covering my body. Recently I visited my hometown, and made a surprising discovery. I was only there for two full days…to have my annual physical and to check out the burial markers of my parents who both left this world in 2017. I had not been back since their ashes had been placed together 15 months ago and wanted to view their burial markers.
Their resting place is beside a huge tree. Trees have forever been my solace, and this experience visiting the graveyard offered me the most astonishing peace of my life!
As I stood by the tree at dusk with an amazing sunset casting a beam of light onto the ground before me I smiled at the place where the ashes and memories of my parents, my grandfather, and my brother (who died in infancy before my birth) were located.
Just as the mighty oak had to grow beyond its initial roots, I began literally jumping with joy , realizing I, at 66 years old, have grown beyond my own roots. I have walked the pathway away from childhood sadness and confusing experiences into a life of joy and contentment. I laughed as I was jumping onto the cold December ground, remembering my pleasant childhood past laced with the challenges of my perceptions of emotional pain.
Aware that just as the oak was not just its roots, but also the branches, the acorns, the leaves, and the sacred space in which it stands, I was gifted in this cemetery the heart knowledge that I am not only the attachment to my family roots but a sacred conglomerate of my beliefs, my connections to friends/family/ my Creator,and my inner work that has blessed me as I embrace this place of being willing to receive joy!
I claimed my peace on this cold day in December surrounded by spirits of those watching me cry in joy. My Holiday wish is that you claim your own peace in whatever manner you are led as we co-create our present circumstances in our respective journey.
I know many people who would never dream of leaving their home town, the home that holds all their belongings, or the place they have resided for a very long time.
As the holidays are approaching, my thoughts return to the home of my childhood, those life long memories with my family of origin. Those home connections will never disappear from my mind, but no longer do they define my true home .
I currently refer to home as my sanctuary , a cottage surrounded by acres of woods, wildlife, and a brook nestled in a rural area of Virginia.
For many emotional attachments of friends, familiar community, former places of education, spiritual organizations, art, or music related buildings define home.
My authentic home is located deep within my heart, the place I experience safety, security, peace of mind, and a harmonic welcoming of a genuine soul connection. Home is also being with that handful of people who truly recognize who I am without expectations or judgements.
When I and maybe each of us know within the sacred center of ourselves where and what home really is, we never have to mourn, desire, or search for this missing piece of our existence. Home is closer than our breath!
Welcome home, my friend! I congratulate all of us when we discover we never left home. It was within each of us all along! All we had to do was to embrace it in the present moment.