The Legacy I Want To Leave Behind

“We all die. The goal is not to live forever. The goal is to leave something that will.” (Chuck Palahniuk, Journalist)
I have been reflecting lately on my attitudes and actions I show those whose pathways cross mine, and asking myself what is it that is important to me to leave behind and what I would like to be remembered for.

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I invite you to join me as we continue on our respective journeys toward authenticity this week as we each reflect upon who we really are, what we are showing the world , and how do we want to be remembered. Because I believe actions speak louder than words, I am choosing to look upon my life, and the effect I have and want to have upon others in my little world. If you were to leave this world tonight, what is the legacy you would leave behind based upon your life thus far; and, is this the legacy you are proud of?

How I will be remembered will be determined by how I co-exist in the world, and by how I treat others. To determine how I am doing in this endeavor, I came up with 5 questions I am asking myself.
1. Do I practice love and compassion with friends, family, as well as strangers?
2. Do I allow myself to be vulnerable, allowing the real me to be seen in those relationships I tell myself are meaningful to me?
3. Do I put service to humankind first and before a need to brag about my accomplishments and wisdom, to be a name or place dropper or to glorify my “great deeds” ? For me I voice that service first is a priority, so it is crucial I assess if that is what I am actually attempting to do!
4. Do I give time and energy to familiar people as well as unfamiliar ones by reaching out to help another with no desire or egoic need to be recognized for my giving ? In other words, if someone needs 5-20 minutes of my time, am I willing to give up a priority I have in my busy day to reach out to another without needing a pat on my proverbial back for doing so?
5. Do I really listen to what others are saying and not interrupt to offer advice or suggestions that is not asked for? Do I stop my brain from judging what the person is saying, and only listen to their feelings and opinions?
By getting gut level honest in looking at what I want to be remembered for, and checking in with myself to see if I am acting out of my truth and authenticity, I can choose to continue life as I have been living it …or I can choose to alter my day to day actions, and try to improve on a daily basis just a wee bit.

Does your current life measure up to the legacy you wish to leave behind or does it, as I have discovered in myself….need tweaking and some setting of new daily intentions to be more of the best “ME” I can be?

Walking Beside You On The Journey,
Jennye

Written by Heart Vibrations Healing/Jennye Johnson 10-7-2016

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Self Love

 

 

 

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Self Love
It Affects All Areas of Our Lives!

April 8, 2016

Greetings!

“Self-love for ever creeps out, like a snake, to sting anything which happens to stumble upon it.” (Lord Byron , poet)

I really believe no one loves oneself 100 % of the time. I also believe almost all emotional despair and issues stem from a lack of self love. I invite you to join me on our respective pathways in living the Authentic Life as we reflect on evidence self love is present or absent, and how being aware of the ebb and flow of self love can trigger us , inspire us, block us, and transform us!

What Is Self Love?
Why Do I Need To Love Myself?

When I was young I received the indirect messages from a variety of sources that if I did things for others , I would be loved. I had no clue that I needed to love myself first. My reptilian brain was filled with gremlins….gremlins that fed feelings of unworthiness and not feeling I was good enough. Self Love is coupled with Self Esteem. When we have poor, low, or no self esteem we most likely have deprived ourselves of self love. We search outside of ourselves looking for the love that will make us feel worthy and whole. We try to feel good about ourselves with material possessions, relationships, food, alcohol/drugs, money, sex…anything to fill that inner black hole void within us. When these outside things work temporarily through instant gratification and then stop working, we then bring out the proverbial two by four and start battering ourselves with self criticism, self doubt, and self sabotage! SELF LOVE is a conscious choice, decision , and intention to live a life of confidence, contentment, and inner peace which will result in experiencing happiness.

Evidence Of Practicing Self Love
Self Lovers Have Learned How To Live Life Differently

Self Loving Has These Practices Present: Self Lovers Devote Energy to Their Passions and Inner Longings instead of putting them on hold Self Lovers Have Self-Dates and relish alone time instead of having to spend all their time with partners, friends, or others. When they deprive themselves of their alone time, they miss it and will create the space and time for Self. They do not feel this time is selfish or need to use one of the “going outside of themselves false solutions ” to feel better because they know spending time alone is the solution for feeling wonderful! -Self Lovers have mastered teaching people how to treat them and freely walk away from any relationships that do not respect, honor, or value them….all without guilt! When we do not love and respect ourselves we attract others who do not also! -Self Lovers take responsibility by accepting and acknowledging mistakes and not blaming another for issues or problems that arise in life! They will look for a positive way to focus when a challenge shows up in front of them. -Self Lovers take a breath, pause, and reflect rather than allowing negative feelings and emotions to trigger them into using prior toxic reactions and methods (that do not really work) of seeking inner peace outside of themselves.

How To Be Aware Of Emotional Triggers
Knowing Our Own Red Flags

Because we each are Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience, we will never be perfect. We are going to, at times, get triggered. Our Reptilian Egoic mind is going to try to convince us at these times to practice non self loving activities. What can we do instead? We can listen to our bodies which will tell us when we are triggered IF we are paying attention. When we feel those feelings arising within, we can stop and check in with our Inner Truth and have this inner dialogue: What just happened? What is the underlying cause of the current feeling? Does the situation remind us of a past partner, parent, or situation that was unpleasant? At the moment of awareness, we can make a choice to pause and get into a solution we know from our personal experience that works rather than become numb or reacting with anger! If we even suspect we have been triggered, but cannot identify it totally, we can still stop and write or breathe and reflect instead of being an Explosive Reactor or a Depressed Numb Zombie! ***If it is difficult to listen to our bodies for messages, we may start by setting an alarm on our cell phone or clock every 2 hours to check in and ask: How am I really feeling? What is going on that is making me feel wonderful or triggering me to feel something else???****

Getting Started in Your Own Self Loving Practice
Some Suggestions

Start a Loving Myself Journal 1. An attitude of gratitude is necessary! Get out pencil and paper. It really increases our inner transformation to write this instead of typing it! Write daily for 28 days 5 or more things you are grateful for in your life that you have right now: I am grateful for and blessed to have in my life____________ because___________ (the reason). 2. Stand in front of a mirror and look into your eyes and say aloud: (Your Name), I love you completely. I love ___________(list specific characteristics about yourself including the shadowy parts such as being a loud mouth, arrogant, a show off, etc. as well as the other aspects as helping others, laughing, being compassionate and caring, moving your body via walking or other exercise, etc. Do this even if you do not fully embrace all of you. Remember practice makes progress!!!! 3. Make a weekly date with yourself! Take yourself out and treat your Divine Wonderful Self to an activity you love! Go only with YOU and embrace YOU! Do this once a week no matter what comes up! Put it on your calendar and follow through! 4. Reflect on any people in your world, including friends and relatives, that you can start weeding out. If you have friends or others that have a need to judge, disrespect, or treat you unkindly…reflect on if they are trying to help or are do they have another motive? Consider anyone or anything that needs to be removed from your immediate world in order for you to love yourself more. 5. Write 3 Specific Things you can do each day that would be considered Loving Acts, and Do them all!

Practicing Self Love may be challenging initially because so many of us have experiences that do not reflect that we are worthy and deserve to be loved! Many of us put a greater focus on those negative memories of our lives rather than the positive ones. Perhaps we do not trust ourselves! By beginning and committing a Self Loving Practice, we may just find that loving our selves and giving permission to create a life of being a Self Lover, that we are more available to being of Real Service to Others, to being of Real Service to Ourselves, and to living a happy life filled with Joy! I am very excited that you are making the conscious decision as I, too, am…to develop and create daily evidence of Being Self Lovers, not Selfish Lovers in the world! (If at anytime the suggestions in our newsletters bring up unresolved and painful issues, please consult your medical professionals for assistance in dealing with your feelings and experiences!)

Walking Beside You On the Journey, Jennye


Jennye

Heart Vibrations Healing
phone: To Be Given Upon Request

 

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Self-Forgiveness

We all make mistakes from me to you to Spiritual Leaders. The power of forgiveness, particularly, Self Forgiveness ,is a monumental stepping stone to individual healing. Perhaps you are aware that when we are able to admit harm done to others and ourselves in the past, feel remorse, learn from our mistakes, and move forward that a transformation within us can occur. How wonderful if each person in the world would do that! However, most people choose to pull out their proverbial 2 by 4 and beat themselves into misery and self criticism far beyond any point of effectiveness! I invite you to walk the journey of Authenticity once again as we reflect on the need and the solution of self forgiveness within each of our lives.

It Is All In The Past

Acceptance word on a 3d blue puzzle piece and a hole with the word PeaceWe only regurgitate actions causing harm in the past, never in the present moment. It may surprise you to know there are basic similar acts that people choose to dredge up in their minds that , if self forgiveness, was practiced , there would be no reason to put ourselves through internal suffering! Some of these are: 1. Failure and deterioration of a life event such as a relationship or a career. 2. Promising to follow through on something that you let slip away such as saving enough money for your child’s education, financial stability in retirement years, or not being present for a sick parent/friend/lover in their time of need. 3. Engaging in addictive behaviors that have harmed others and yourself such as abusing alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling, co-dependency, or manipulative acts of controlling others. 4. Selfish acts taken to get what you wanted , and in the process harmed others as you walked right over them with your eyes only on the prize of that thing you had to have and own.

Consequences of Lack of Self Forgiveness
It Is Always Either Love or Fear

When we refuse to forgive ourselves or do not know how to even start, we carry into aspects of our lives and into our relationships (partners, friends, relatives, co-workers, neighbors, anyone we come into contact with) the shame, guilt, and suffering that lives within us. When we carry this internal shame and suffering, the people we care about suffer also . This is due to the fact we are wearing a hooded cloak of guilt that encompasses the behaviors of being more critical, more judgmental, and being emotionally unavailable. It does not stop with affecting others for our thoughts about our suffering create chemicals within our bodies that disrupt our digestion, increase heart rates and blood pressure levels, tighten muscles, and affect our memory-cognition! Additionally, each time we re-visit our story of shame, guilt, and remorseful acts of unresolved self love and forgiveness we flood our body with new destructive chemicals!

A Few More Thoughts ….
┬áREAD ON………

Sometimes we humans will use the rationalization monkey and only think we have forgiven ourselves but have not owned our part taking responsibility for our actions. If this is the case, we may feel relieved of the feelings we have been carrying around in our energetic sack of unhappiness but we have managed to decrease compassion and empathy for others and have blocked our own motivation to make amends . In other words, we are in denial of our own healing! Remorse and fear can be our friend…..by encouraging the need and actions for positive change. When we make the decision to embrace our fear instead of running from it or trying to deny it, we have solved more than half of our problem!

A Plan For Right Actions
Some Suggestions

Here are some tips that may help you practice self forgiveness: 1. Name your devil in writing! Write exactly what you did or what you did not follow through on. Write next who was harmed and how. Include YOU! 2. Write a story about how you felt prior to the decision of the act,during the act, and after the act. How did you feel about the people involved? 3. Assess what your motives at the time were. Be honest if you want an outcome of self forgiveness! 4. Write about the triggers of your behavior. Many times our actions are triggered from unresolved, old events in our lives. Did the triggers remind you of another event, another time , such as something in your childhood or in a challenging relationship? 5. Were your beliefs at the time of the acts you are now dredging up that happened in the past the same as beliefs you hold in the present time? Were the beliefs you held back then yours or did they belong to a church, a parent, a teacher, a friend, someone else??? 6. Reflect back to the time of the event that you now feel guilt or shame over. Was the action aligned with your core belief at the time or did you make the decision to discard your value and belief? If this is true for you, then you did more harm to yourself than to anyone else! You let yourself down, and are still punishing yourself. ********At this point take a BIG Breath!!******** 7. Create ways to make amends to yourself! Here is one way: Write a letter from your Future Self, and YES you have one! Write to your prior self , the one in the past who committed the harm . Tell him/her how proud you are of the lessons learned. List the solutions you now have and are using. Throw some confetti to celebrate !!!!!! 8. Claim the fact that you are not who you were. You are a Spiritual Being Having a Human Experience who may make more mistakes because you are human and will not be perfect in the body you currently live within, but you can choose to learn from your experiences and amend or change your ways of living life.

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