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It seems the rhythm of my mind, body, spirit goes in cycles. The past few years when I have been about to experience a transformational change my body tells me it wants me to make a change in how and what I ingest. I happen to believe our body never lies and it holds much wisdom, so if we listen to what it really wants and what it tells us, we are able to make incredible changes that impact us significantly. Likewise, when we refuse to listen to our body’s messages, we get to pay dear consequences until we once again surrender and begin listening and following through with actions requested!
In 1995 I began remembering a series of repressed childhood memories that were quite painful, and after struggling to survive them (along with the help of a great therapist), my body decided it wanted to give up eating meat so I became a vegetarian. I suppose because of the horrendous year I had just walked through I was wrapped rather tightly emotionally so not only did I give up meat but I also became adamant killing animals for any reason went against my values so I gave up wearing leather, using any animal by products, and protested against the fur industry. Yes, wrapped tightly! I finally decided maybe I was taking this animal thing too far so though I remained vegetarian I did go back to wearing leather shoes and clothing!
A few years later, I worked in a series of out of state temporary jobs and one of those places was in coastal Maine. I had a thought…gee in Maine on the coast…I should eat lobster. Then I thought other seafood would be good…then one day thought a pork chop would be great. Well, so I did begin eating fish, seafood meat, and of course at first was sick for I had cleared my body out from eating all meat, fish, and seafood. However, before long I was back to eating meat daily, not listening to my body. I did get to pay some consequences such as mild depression returned, I stopped listening to inner messages that always help me, my thyroid function changed , and my co-dependency that had been with me since adolescence returned in full force. Prior to this I thought I had worked hard on all my issues. Maybe I had, but it does not seem to me it was coincidence that once I began eating in a less than healthy way again that my inner world seemed to return to old ways of doing life.
Fast forward to a few more years ahead. It now was 2004. My significant other was diagnosed with a disease that would take him out of this world. My body told me once again it wanted me to be a complete vegetarian. I listened and gave up meat. Occasionally, maybe once a year, I ate salmon. I felt stronger in every aspect as I watched my boyfriend slowly deteriorate as he got closer to his death which did come in mid 2005. Another transformation preceded by another message from my body’s wisdom. I was seeing clearly the correlation.
At the end of 2012 my body insisted I do a cleanse/detox. I had gained 20 pounds and could not lose it. I was going to a gym 1-2 x a week, doing yoga, but kept this weight on my petite body. Hearing my body’s messages often is not enough, but somehow the Universe provides people and actions to go along with the messages. I met someone at an event who shared with me a system of detox/cleanse that I “might want to try”. I did try it and for 28 days I was sugar free, soy free, and gluten free. At the end of the 28 days I had more energy than I had experienced since I was 9 years old! I never to this day have returned to eating gluten or wheat. One main reason is the times I have mistakenly been given gluten/wheat I have gotten very sick instantly. I know I am ultra sensitive to its effects. The following year, 2013, was a huge transformation. I went to Chaco Canyon, NM for the first time(I have since returned there every year ) and had huge mystical experiences. That same year, 2013, I met two men who would become life long friends and two of my greatest supporters of the life I live. Following my new diet I joined a gym and began working out daily.My body told me it wanted to receive a daily morning meal of green juice with protein powder, and I complied. At age 62 in 2014 I went to N. California to work temporarily, feeling the best I had ever felt in my adulthood. Three months into my work assignment 24 pounds fell off of me in a two week period! I figured it took that long for being gluten free, working out, etc. for it to catch up to my body. One month later I suffered what I call my brain opportunity…a major brain bleed that ended up with miraculous healing! I did not have to go to rehab and I healed in a few months with no complications or problems! No food/drink changes came with this event but a total life change came as I had to slow down almost to a halt while my brain and body healed/ repaired itself. I could not do yoga or go to the gym or even drive for a few months, but my whole body began giving me messages I was to do alternative healing work for others. I was already highly intuitive since childhood and a Reiki Master since 2006 , and it seemed by whole mind, body, spirit was telling me a secret: I had been denying for many years I came to this earth to help the planet and others to heal! Somehow I had not heard this message until a brain opportunity slowed me down so much I could hear nothing else but this message, and Listen I did!
During the past two years I have relocated to another state, and my mind/body/spirit began giving me not so much food/drink messages but messages that if I was willing to accept and receive joy that I could manifest just about anything that would bring me happiness! If I enumerated the incredible things coming to fruition right now, it would amaze you…as much as it amazes me. Blessing after blessing, incredible psychic and healing skills have appeared, friendships and opportunities of a great quality have shown up, and I live in a paradise surrounded by magical trees, wildlife, and more.
Now comes the newest message from my body. In December, 2018 my body began telling me I need to once a week do a water fast. I wanted to resist! I had experienced one little change in my body. Still eating a very healthy diet, still drinking a green protein drink daily, still working out 3x a week, my stomach began being bloated. No logical reason..but enough change to get my attention…My body was talking to me again! So I decided I would try a water fast…not sure I could succeed. It sounded rather radical! I told myself I would start it in February and a dear friend told me she would partner with me in this fast. She lives on the opposite coast as I but we agreed on Wednesdays we would only ingest water for approximately 24 hours. So we began one week ago.
Changes during that first fast for me were interesting. One, I did crave crunchy food, my favorite craving , four different times. I drank more water during those times. I noticed I was very still all day and night, not wanting to fill my time with projects, writing, or even ideas! I have been a meditator for 33 years , do not own a tv, am relatively quiet, but the fact I did not want to distract myself for 24 hours was different. The following day it took me a while to drink my green drink. I did not really want to eat or drink, but eventually I did. My friend and I checked in with each other a few times during our first water fast and once as I was sharing about some emotional feelings, I noticed a craving for fried chicken and gravy (which has not been consumed by me for 15 years!). I did have an hour during my fast day that I shook and cried deeply . I knew it was a release I needed and had no idea I even held it inside my body! When I wanted to eat on the fast day I could not tell if I was hungry or if it was the usual time I fed myself so my inner clock was dinging it was meal time! Or was I wanting to stuff a feeling or a thought? I am not sure yet.
So…tomorrow is another Wednesday Water Fast day. I will drink a cup of coffee, then several liters of well water, and I may try a cup of hot tea with a small bit of honey and listen to my body. I know my body is getting re-set with each time I choose to fast. It is exciting that I can even fast all day/night with only liquids for I was not sure I could do it! I know my body is preparing me for something totally incredible that is going to reveal itself as a result of this change of eating/drinking by water fasting. Really, I can hardly wait to see how my life unfolds at this point!
My main message to you, my dear readers, if there is one…is listen to the messages of your mind, body, and spirit. So much wisdom is there. I am very sure we have all the answers we need within us, if we will just listen and follow through. Even we do not follow through, our bodies give us a few chances to experience success and happiness . Then there are those consequences if we keep refusing to listen…but I am sure you are not nearly as rebellious as I can be! Happy Listening!!!
I just returned from the place I go once a year for a solo personal retreat. Each time I go I experience a deeper spiritual awareness yet it also is a validation of how simple finding inner peace is.
As I hiked alone through desert terrain close to spacious mountains I knew I was in Divine Partnership with the planet. Each footstep I took increased my connection to my innermost self and to the precious land. Thoughts of every other being whose feet had touched the same land in the recent and very distant past empowered me to embrace all time…my own personal history as well as that of humanity.
This sweet, yet passionately emotional feeling came over me. I knew in the depths of my soul no matter how high spiritually I travel the secret for all who have passed through this world and for myself is this fact. Peace is attained when we each honestly accept ourselves for exactly who we are and who we have been in each precious moment. So simple! No need to analyze, to judge, or to search. Just living in between the inhale and exhale of each breathing moment is the answer.img_8578
There is nothing to fear, nothing to figure out. All we each need to do is just to BE…and let the magical life unfold as we witness the wonderment!
I thanked the desert for reminding me once again the truth has always been within my heart… not in my brain as my ego wants to believe! Nature always is waiting patiently to teach me more of the same lesson….just breathe in the moment. That is where the peace exists!
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I have been aware for years that relationships offer me the greatest opportunity to grow, and that being said, offer at times the greatest challenges. Recently I have been repeating this mantra to my heart and to my brain. It goes like this: “ When I consciously allow the other person to be who he/she needs to be in the present moment, without my needing or trying to change them, manipulate, or control them to live life according to my agenda, I am loving that person unconditionally.”
I have been applying this idea to ALL relationships, romantic partners, relatives, friends, co-workers, even clients. Taken further, I can apply this to myself by loving and accepting who I am in the moment without judging or treating myself in an unloving way.
When I am loving myself and taking loving actions for and with myself, I am more open to receive and attract harmonic relationships in all areas of my life. However….What if we cannot love ourselves? Believe me, I have known the challenge of looking deeply at myself in a mirror, trying to love what was staring back! The hardest love I have had to experience is self love.
I began the journey of self love a long time ago. The truth, I unearthed, was not that it was some impossible task as much as my fears about it overrided every piece of me! My biggest fear was that I had never been…and could never be ENOUGH! I further discovered buried under this Fear Animal were layers of guilt, shame, and feelings of unworthiness! I carried deep in my unconsciousness false beliefs of why I was unlovable…especially to myself! All this monkey mind self talk came from messages of others (who also did not love themselves!) and I bought into them hook, line, and sinker…and sink I did into self loathing for many years. I kept trying to find love outside of myself—-alcohol, men, career, education, nicotine, being skinny…anything to fill that hole in my soul. Problem was all were just temporary fixes of instant gratification. I even tried “ good fixes” like yoga, gym workouts, hiking, etc. I was still searching outside of myself for an answer to an inside job!!
Finally I realized , through much gut wrenching pain, that all these attempts with all these negative thoughts I was making myself feel terrible about..were life long patterns..patterns I had no control over. These patterns were controlling me! It was only when I really saw and began to comprehend what my internal chattering was doing to me and how it had been created, that I became willing to do deep inner work…and began to want to receive JOY!
Once I began receiving, accepting, and experiencing joy, Lo and behold my relationships began to change! Those who had been my greatest teachers , the partners- friends- co workers, all who were reinforcing my fearful self loathing beliefs, began to fall apart, disappear and leave my life. The more I opened to receiving unconditional love in practicing more self love, the more new relationships showed up in every area of my life!
Still being a “human doing”, at times fears come up but now I know fears are only there to be embraced and transformed. They are only red flags to grab my attention and whisper “ psssst Are you loving yourself right now?
Finding harmony in relationship with myself, and with others is really simple….unless I choose to complicate it by forgetting the answer does not lie outside of myself, but lives within my own unique heart and spirit.
A tree never forgets its roots anymore than I can forget the skin covering my body. Recently I visited my hometown, and made a surprising discovery. I was only there for two full days…to have my annual physical and to check out the burial markers of my parents who both left this world in 2017. I had not been back since their ashes had been placed together 15 months ago and wanted to view their burial markers.
Their resting place is beside a huge tree. Trees have forever been my solace, and this experience visiting the graveyard offered me the most astonishing peace of my life!
As I stood by the tree at dusk with an amazing sunset casting a beam of light onto the ground before me I smiled at the place where the ashes and memories of my parents, my grandfather, and my brother (who died in infancy before my birth) were located.
Just as the mighty oak had to grow beyond its initial roots, I began literally jumping with joy , realizing I, at 66 years old, have grown beyond my own roots. I have walked the pathway away from childhood sadness and confusing experiences into a life of joy and contentment. I laughed as I was jumping onto the cold December ground, remembering my pleasant childhood past laced with the challenges of my perceptions of emotional pain.
Aware that just as the oak was not just its roots, but also the branches, the acorns, the leaves, and the sacred space in which it stands, I was gifted in this cemetery the heart knowledge that I am not only the attachment to my family roots but a sacred conglomerate of my beliefs, my connections to friends/family/ my Creator,and my inner work that has blessed me as I embrace this place of being willing to receive joy!
I claimed my peace on this cold day in December surrounded by spirits of those watching me cry in joy. My Holiday wish is that you claim your own peace in whatever manner you are led as we co-create our present circumstances in our respective journey.
I know many people who would never dream of leaving their home town, the home that holds all their belongings, or the place they have resided for a very long time.
As the holidays are approaching, my thoughts return to the home of my childhood, those life long memories with my family of origin. Those home connections will never disappear from my mind, but no longer do they define my true home .
I currently refer to home as my sanctuary , a cottage surrounded by acres of woods, wildlife, and a brook nestled in a rural area of Virginia.
For many emotional attachments of friends, familiar community, former places of education, spiritual organizations, art, or music related buildings define home.
My authentic home is located deep within my heart, the place I experience safety, security, peace of mind, and a harmonic welcoming of a genuine soul connection. Home is also being with that handful of people who truly recognize who I am without expectations or judgements.
When I and maybe each of us know within the sacred center of ourselves where and what home really is, we never have to mourn, desire, or search for this missing piece of our existence. Home is closer than our breath!
Welcome home, my friend! I congratulate all of us when we discover we never left home. It was within each of us all along! All we had to do was to embrace it in the present moment.
Reality is stranger than what your mind has convinced you to believe. It is even stranger than what the majority of our population has bought into. The truth and fact of quantum physics is just this: EVERYTHING is energy and energy is everything!
If more people truly understood that everything is energy, and that all humans carry at all times an individual, unique vibrational code, by becoming aware of your own vibrations and assessing your codes, a whole new world would open to each of us. We could create an individually designed life program that would bring us each more peace of mind, more happiness, more kindness, more loving relationships and situations, and the collective vision for a better world would manifest quickly for all of us!
Through Quantum Physics ,Science shows us the Universe is composed of continuous flowing energy. Energy is everywhere–in human bodies, in plants, trees, and animals, in the homes we reside, in all things. Energy is never destroyed but the vibrational code with the energetic component of each thing can change from low to high or high to low vibrations.
In regards to human relationships we are magnets to the vibrational frequencies that resonate within ourselves. Like attracts like. Relationships we have with bosses, co-workers, romantic partners, friendships, neighborhoods, etc. are created based on our seemingly invisible vibrational codes. We only thought we were attracted in all relationships because of other reasons! When we attract a particular person or situation to us, it is in reality the energy attracting similar, familiar, and resonant vibrational energies. ! When a relationship in any form no longer energetically resonates within a person a terminating ending begins because the vibrational frequency that originally created the attraction has changed!! You might say or hear another say to you: “You have changed.” This is only partially true as it is the vibrational frequency that has changed from a lower vibration to a higher vibration or in the opposite direction.
Have you ever noticed you or another keep repeatedly attracting the same relationship /situation with a different face? We may think a person would be repelled and quickly run instead of entering any relationship of romance, job, friendship, social networking, religious organization, etc. with characteristics of chaotic, destructive patterns that resemble past experiences such as family of origin or prior situations (i.e. emotional abuse, codependency, physical or mental abuse, manipulative behaviors , addictions, or abandonment) . However, because our invisible vibrations are pinging out energy transmissions constantly we will attract the very same relationships we thought we had walked away from years ago. A good example of this is when a person states : My boss is just like my Mother ; My partner acts like my dysfunctional Uncle, etc.
Our vibrational energetic transmissions are really a conglomerate collection of conscious and unconscious beliefs, suppressed emotions and thoughts, and experienced memories of our past that in our present are a cobweb of negative bundled manifestations . Science has proven that many of us are living out of a repeated movie of automatic responses and reactions that we replay stemming from our subconscious mind because we are not operating in the here and now. Knowing this truth demonstrates why those who experienced living in emotional, mental, or other disempowering situations continue to unconsciously attract repeated abusive-destructive situations with familiar actors on the stage of life!
As gloomy as this sounds….WAIT…there is hope! We cannot destroy our past as if it never happened but we can change our vibrational energy frequencies . When we do raise our vibrational frequencies, we will begin attracting different experiences, different types of people, and empowering situations into our life. We will most likely also see old situations and relationships falling by the wayside not because we or they are doing anything wrong, but because the original energy between us is no longer resonating in the same way as it did when we entered the relationship!
How do we raise our vibrations? Here are some ideas:
-State daily aloud 5 things you are grateful for currently in your life. (If you cannot be grateful for what you now have, how can you be grateful for more?)
-Forgive yourself and others ( Remember you and they only acted out of the low energetic vibrations that were present at the time of the experienced creation of events)
– Change your diet to one of clean, nutritious foods and beverages. (What we put into our body either weighs us down or builds us up)
-Burn your energy in a healthy way (Walk, run, swim, do yoga, do Tai Chi or Chi Gong, workout at a gym regularly: Move that body!)
-Work with a Personal Energetic or Spiritual Coach who can help you re-program negative beliefs and self talk that has kept your low vibrations active and stuck for years.
-See a Reiki Master , Sound Healer, or other Alternative Practitioner . (Reiki and other modalities can help to break up low vibrational blocks and assist in raising your vibrational frequencies)
Doing our own inner healing work, purifying and changing subconscious relationship patterns directly and indirectly digested from people/situations/environments, cleansing and transforming layers of unexpressed and unfelt emotions from your auric energy field will empower you to transmit your authentic vibrational signals. As a result, your true energetic tribe will be able to connect and find you at long last. Once we begin choosing to consciously raise our vibrations we will stand together with others doing the same, and we will hold our vision for a peaceful, loving world.
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I have had my share of losses in my lifetime…two romantic partners whom I walked beside as they left this world , all my uncles and aunts except one, all grandparents, both my parents, several devoted cats and dogs, friendships, jobs, homes, and the list is endless.
No one in my educational settings or in my family of origin taught me anything about how to cope with grieving losses or how to resolve any of them. I have , at times, gone to professional practitioners who helped me find workable techniques when I acknowledged specific losses. There are so many types of losses I never considered until I began extensive traveling. Making connections with strangers, lands I have not previously known, other cultures helped me to understand further about the losses most do not even begin to fathom!
In the past month I have listened as four people I knew intimately shared they were coping well with various losses as I observed they were only stuffing their feelings deep within only to begin acting out of their pain and unresolved grief at inappropriate moments. Each of these people , by the way, also as long as I have known them have demonstrated great efforts to be “in control” of their lives (and often the lives of others!).
Before you jump to the conclusion I am standing in judgment of these people, let me tell you I am fully aware no one can affect me by their actions unless it comes to teach me something about myself! I hold a belief that there is a Spiritual Mirror that exaggerates the actions of others so that I cannot miss it! When I am in Spiritual Alignment with the Divine, I can be grateful for the projections others show me, and take the opportunity of the lesson presented to my Sponge Within who wishes to learn and integrate as much as I can in this lifetime.
The Spiritual Mirror works like this: If someone exaggerates the wonderful qualities I love such as kindness, service to humanity, and compassion and I immediately feel a kindred connection with that person…it is because I have those same qualities within me. When a person demonstrates in a most exaggerated manner things I detest: the illusion of control, unresolved grief, anger, frustration, judgement, pointing the finger at my/other’s behaviors, etc. it is only because I have now or did have those same qualities or defects of character within me that I am not accepting and honoring in myself. To honor my shadow is a wonderful act of courage! Either way….that person comes to teach me more about myself, and I can either thank them in my head or I can find them objectionable.
The unresolved grief I witness in my travels and in my community life show me there is a prevalence in our society of it. In my short 66 years of living I have come to believe that I can either acknowledge my own grief when it comes up in the present moment or I can attempt to practice the illusion of controlling it, stuffing it as deeply within my body as possible . Sooner or later it will come up in a few ways: one is I will pay the consequences of unresolved grief in the creation of physical and/or emotional sickness within my body and spirit ; Two I will vent and act out hurting people I trust and those I do not trust because I am in pain; or three, I will be uncomfortable in my own skin and will ultimately have given up my choice to be at peaceful freedom.
Fortunately, I have FINALLY become willing to develop a daily practice in which I look at my day with as much fine tooth combing as I possibly can before I enter my dreamtime. Secondly I have FINALLY become willing to get real by becoming vulnerable with myself and with all meaningful relationships acknowledging my feelings and actions as they each emerge. Knowing I do not do this perfectly , but knowing I do carry the daily intention to surrender my old ways of thinking and doing, I believe I have a clearer sense on how to co-exist with my own grief on so many levels.
Losses of all types will continue in our worlds and grief will continue to emerge in a spiral on its own terms . Our opportunity is to work with both aspects and co exist by becoming more vulnerable regardless of any fears that live within. I have hope that this old world and its inhabitants has a BIG chance to heal. I walk my journey with that belief.