There have been two significant times of the year throughout my life that major shifts and changes have occurred that keep repeating in cycles of time. One has been a series of Decembers. The other has been between Mid March to Mid April. Decembers : December,1977 Graduated with Bachelor’s Degree. December,1984 Graduated with Master’s Degree. Several Decembers made big geographical moves. March/April: March-April 1964 Awakened from recovery of double pneumonia that almost took my life. April, 1991 Participated in a therapy group for childhood trauma and almost 90% of then friendships walked away from me. No one was mad or upset..just one of those big changes for me. April, 2017 had a major brain bleed and hematoma with no symptoms with an out of body experience at 3 weeks post brain surgery requiring no rehab stay because of miraculous healing!
I started driving across the USA to Chaco Canyon, New Mexico on a solo retreat around February-March in 2015, and continued to make this solo trip yearly with the most recent one ending in March , 2023. This experience continues to change my life for the better! This year I had just returned from New Mexico, and changes that occurred when a person I thought was close to me had stopped returning any correspondences with me without giving me a reason and a person I considered a mentor died from an ongoing medical condition.
I allowed the feelings to surface both from huge internal shifts in consciousness and from losses of people from my life. The past week I have been doing deep inner work and processing all these events. As I have done in my past I felt the twinges of uncomfortableness within yet knew change is such a great catalyst for stepping further into my personal power and pushing of an increased visionary evidence of why I am alive at this time in the world. I had to find those proverbial bootstraps and pull myself up once again. Believe me I reached out to several of those I call my tribe, but when I am needing to find my bootstraps there is no human to call on for help as I must do this inner journey myself. Yes, I have the support of those I trust but there are times I think we each must rely on Divine Source and our own inner strength that is always waiting in the depths of our soul.
The world has definitely changed in the past few years. I think we each have a choice. We can become an ostrich ,head in sand, and ignore what is being revealed right in front of our eyes. We can become angry and regurgitate repeatedly what we see as unjust and unfair. We can allow our fear to permeate all our decisions and choices and dive deeply into depression with some of us using addictions to cope. OR we can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and embrace our inner strength that we were born with, becoming our own Ancestral Light that serves to radiate the Truth for ourselves as well as a beacon out of Darkness for others.
I am not content to sit back and let fear and anger rule my inner world. At one time I did not know a way out. Today my persistence and ongoing journey to becoming a better version of myself and a visionary leader in a confused world is the path I choose to take. Living in the moment, remembering I do not need to know how any of it will unfold continues to be the force that moves me forward. I am grateful I know I still have those bootstraps…sometimes they get hidden but they always are revealed to me if I do not give up before the absolute truth is revealed. This gives me hope, and I hope it offers you a ray of light if you find yourself in a darkened hallway.