Self Love

When I was young I received the indirect messages from a variety of sources that if I did things for others , I would be loved. I had no clue that I needed to love myself first. My reptilian brain was filled with gremlins….gremlins that fed feelings of unworthiness and not feeling I was good enough. Self Love is coupled with Self Esteem. When we have poor, low, or no self esteem we most likely have deprived ourselves of self love. We search outside of ourselves looking for the love that will make us feel worthy and whole. We try to feel good about ourselves with material possessions, relationships, food, alcohol/drugs, money, sex…anything to fill that inner black hole void within us. When these outside things work temporarily through instant gratification and then stop working, we then bring out the proverbial two by four and start battering ourselves with self criticism, self doubt, and self sabotage! SELF LOVE is a conscious choice, decision , and intention to live a life of confidence, contentment, and inner peace which will result in experiencing happiness.

Self Loving Has These Practices Present: – Self Lovers Devote Energy to Their Passions and Inner Longings instead of putting them on hold –Self Lovers Have Self-Dates and relish alone time instead of having to spend all their time with partners, friends, or others. When they deprive themselves of their alone time, they miss it and will create the space and time for Self. They do not feel this time is selfish or need to use one of the “going outside of themselves false solutions ” to feel better because they know spending time alone is the solution for feeling wonderful! -Self Lovers have mastered teaching people how to treat them and freely walk away from any relationships that do not respect, honor, or value them….all without guilt! When we do not love and respect ourselves we attract others who do not also! -Self Lovers take responsibility by accepting and acknowledging mistakes and not blaming another for issues or problems that arise in life! They will look for a positive way to focus when a challenge shows up in front of them. -Self Lovers take a breath, pause, and reflect rather than allowing negative feelings and emotions to trigger them into using prior toxic reactions and methods (that do not really work) of seeking inner peace outside of themselves.

Because we each are Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience, we will never be perfect. We are going to, at times, get triggered. Our Reptilian Egoic mind is going to try to convince us at these times to practice non self loving activities. What can we do instead? We can listen to our bodies which will tell us when we are triggered IF we are paying attention. When we feel those feelings arising within, we can stop and check in with our Inner Truth and have this inner dialogue: What just happened? What is the underlying cause of the current feeling? Does the situation remind us of a past partner, parent, or situation that was unpleasant? At the moment of awareness, we can make a choice to pause and get into a solution we know from our personal experience that works rather than become numb or reacting with anger! If we even suspect we have been triggered, but cannot identify it totally, we can still stop and write or breathe and reflect instead of being an Explosive Reactor or a Depressed Numb Zombie! ***If it is difficult to listen to our bodies for messages, we may start by setting an alarm on our cell phone or clock every 2 hours to check in and ask: How am I really feeling? What is going on that is making me feel wonderful or triggering me to feel something else???****

Start a Loving Myself Journal 1. An attitude of gratitude is necessary! Get out pencil and paper. It really increases our inner transformation to write this instead of typing it! Write daily for 28 days 5 or more things you are grateful for in your life that you have right now: I am grateful for and blessed to have in my life____________ because___________ (the reason). 2. Stand in front of a mirror and look into your eyes and say aloud: (Your Name), I love you completely. I love ___________(list specific characteristics about yourself including the shadowy parts such as being a loud mouth, arrogant, a show off, etc. as well as the other aspects as helping others, laughing, being compassionate and caring, moving your body via walking or other exercise, etc. Do this even if you do not fully embrace all of you. Remember practice makes progress!!!! 3. Make a weekly date with yourself! Take yourself out and treat your Divine Wonderful Self to an activity you love! Go only with YOU and embrace YOU! Do this once a week no matter what comes up! Put it on your calendar and follow through! 4. Reflect on any people in your world, including friends and relatives, that you can start weeding out. If you have friends or others that have a need to judge, disrespect, or treat you unkindly…reflect on if they are trying to help or are do they have another motive? Consider anyone or anything that needs to be removed from your immediate world in order for you to love yourself more. 5. Write 3 Specific Things you can do each day that would be considered Loving Acts, and Do them all!

Practicing Self Love may be challenging initially because so many of us have experiences that do not reflect that we are worthy and deserve to be loved! Many of us put a greater focus on those negative memories of our lives rather than the positive ones. Perhaps we do not trust ourselves! By beginning and committing a Self Loving Practice, we may just find that loving our selves and giving permission to create a life of being a Self Lover, that we are more available to being of Real Service to Others, to being of Real Service to Ourselves, and to living a happy life filled with Joy! I am very excited that you are making the conscious decision as I, too, am…to develop and create daily evidence of Being Self Lovers, not Selfish Lovers in the world! (If at anytime the suggestions in our newsletters bring up unresolved and painful issues, please consult your medical professionals for assistance in dealing with your feelings and experiences!)

Walking Beside You On the Journey, Jennye

Jennye