Survivors of narcissistic relationships, childhood trauma, dysfunctional partnerships or family of origin, controlling parents or bosses, participation in any past emotional or physical battles, and numerous other experiences may have discovered since the world changed bringing the increased stress of the yet to end Pandemic that past triggers have once again raised their insidious heads. Many who had done so much inner work to find their triggers successfully managed in the past yet once again may be feeling a sense of overwhelming shame or despair.
Triggers are physical and/or emotional imprints that can re-emerge when certain smells, sounds, feelings, or tastes are experienced. These triggers are those feelings of being uncomfortable in our own skin which may include situations we would rather not revisit triggering emotional and even physical responses in our body including: betrayal, feeling unheard or ignored, feeling abandoned, feeling shamed, powerlessness, feeling judged, feeling someone is controlling you, feeling someone trying to smother you out of their neediness, feeling alone without any support, someone coming onto you inappropriately or sexually, or someone being too busy to make time for you.
Instead of healing from our emotional triggers we may employ distraction or avoidance techniques that never really worked such as getting angry, acting needy, blaming someone for our pain, using an addiction ( alcohol, drugs, sex, food, etc.), emotionally shutting down, or become overly controlling.
If we knew and remembered our triggers are a gateway and portal to our authenticity, we would affirm they jumped back into our experiences to inform us about ourselves and areas within where we need to heal.
Having a toolbox of self caring solutions is crucial, especially living in such a changed and tipsy-turvy world that feels out of control.
Some helpful strategies:
*Feel the trigger in your body. Our body is our friend and barometer. It never lies to us! Simply observe when triggers appear. * Begin inventorying and ask “ Why am I reacting? What is up with me?” We sometimes want to attack another emotionally or even physically for words or actions that triggered us but that does not help us heal. It only disrespects and causes tensions with another. * Spend time with yourself solo . If you feel degraded or shamed, ask what you are needing in the moment. If you are feeling afraid, ask what are you afraid of and is this fear real? How in this moment can you partner with yourself and become your own Mother and Father to look at the situation with a different perspective.
More Self Care Ideas
*Deep breathing with exhalation *Sing loudly *Dance *Go for a walk in nature *Journal * Run through grass barefoot * Exercise or do yoga * Text or call a friend
*Work with a personal coach to learn how to re-program old and recycled triggers
Write a safety plan and keep it available to yourself! I am a huge fan of sticky notes that I place on walls and mirrors. Self care is self love and we each deserve as much love as we can muster!
Excellent self care apps to check out:
*Happify *Brain.fm *Headspace *Pacifica *Worry Watch *Insight Timer *Jour *Mend *Shine *#SelfCare *I am *Aloe Bud *Sanity&Self *Joy *Sparkle
Remember we are in this thing called life together!