.Please remember that no one among us loves themselves fully all the time, so when you read this information, do so with the intention of remembering those times when you did love yourself,knowing you can return to that sacred time in the Now. –Stand up and go in front of a mirror. Look deeply into your eyes. Pay attention to how you REALLY feel when you say aloud: I LOVE YOU. A self lover will see themselves whole and complete , in spite of flaws or imperfections. Whether you see yourself as positive or negative, you will know if you are really loving yourself. Self lovers see their strengths and see their shadow sides, and still love themselves. So, when you said aloud I LOVE YOU, were you telling the truth?

Self Lovers see joy and fun as primary goals most of the time. They do not compromise themselves by tolerating being mistreated by others. They do not put anyone else first, even those they love deeply. They acknowledge they will and do make mistakes, and gratefully learn from them. They do not feel guilty and do not rationalize their behaviors , especially to themselves because they are self accepting! They do not need to stay busy, do not identify themselves by their job, home, partner, or possessions. When we are self lovers, our life is peaceful and harmonious almost all the time. When life does not work out as we anticipated, we simply go to Plan B and smile for self lovers know life is a great journey!!!

Please remember Heart Vibrations Healing offers Spiritual Coaching and is not licensed therapy. If you have unresolved feelings and issues , please consult your medical professional for therapeutic assistance in dealing and resolution of unhealed issues.

To become a self lover, you will have to (yes I said have to!) drop and face all the stories you have re-told yourself that guarantee and block you from loving all of yourself. You will need to acknowledge the ways you believe you have abandoned, disappointed, and forsaken yourself. You will need to be courageous and totally once and for all , forgive yourself. You will need to let yourself off the hook for all that pressure that comes with the need to live life perfectly! READ ON

When we really forgive ourselves, we embrace all those feelings of shame, guilt, remorse, and regret. We embrace those feelings that we try to stuff deep down inside of us….because those very feelings, whether we acknowledge them or not…are the catalyst to closing our hearts. Furthermore, our shadow side keeps our hearts closed from our authentic selves by screaming: “you never did and never will deserve joy and love”.

1. Begin where you are right now. When your shadow self tries to stop your Divine Plan, stop and breathe, and start again where you are for this is where you need to be! 2. Be compassionate and gentle with yourself. There is no right or wrong way to do this! Repeat this!!! 3. I have found when we move our body and do this work, it engages the healing part of ourselves, so dance, jump up and down, do yoga, walk, etc. while you express your feelings!!! Get creative!!! 4.Own up to any harm done to yourself and/or another. Express it responsibly with humility and gratitude. 5. Accept you are a Sacred Divine Creation with imperfections! We all are this way…go ahead and admit it and own it!

How would you feel if you totally forgave yourself? How would your life be different if you accepted all of you, the positives, the dark shadow side, the imperfections? How would you feel when you release the pressure your shadow side created to be Mr. or Ms. Perfectionism? I know you deserve to fully and completely love yourself and become the Self Lover you were created to be. The time is not in the future…it is NOW.

Walking Beside You On the Journey, Jennye

Jennye

*You feel others have a key to living life that you never found, and, you feel or (THINK) if you had this missing part, you would not feel insecure. *You have a negative self image in all areas of your life or in at least one: intimate relationships, work setting, family role, community role, friendships, and/or you compare yourself to how you THINK someone else lives life so easily. *You have a need to control your world. Do you need those who you live with, interact with, or work with to act, and be a certain way? Do you put conditions on what they can/cannot do to stay in your world? *You avoid issues that you would be better off confronting or avoid bringing up subjects to the people you really need to address issues with; in the long run, you feel intimidated and insecure over the avoidance. *You fear you cannot really take care of yourself. *You fear powerful emotions or your own erratic behaviors. *You have difficulty adapting to new situations and starting new roles, jobs, relationships. *You are determined to do things on your own when you would be more empowered by seeking help and support from others(another form of control)

Symptoms of Feeling Secure: *You accept compliments freely with self love and do not suspect someone is making up those good things about you in order to get something from you now or later. *You acknowledge your weaknesses and are not condemned by them AND have coping strategies in place to empower yourself when these weaknesses come up. *Your self esteem and self worth is not contingent on your physical appearance or mental abilities. *You can survive and live through rejection without becoming negative and bitter. *You realize there are prettier, smarter, wiser people in the world and when you meet them you honor them. *You can receive constructive criticism without becoming defensive or feeling a need to explain. *You can say no when necessary. *You do not need the approval or acceptance of someone else to feel whole and worthy. *You do not love yourself for your educational status, bank balance, looks, family, etc. but because you are a child of a Loving Creator. *You do not put yourself down in thoughts, words, or actions. *You live your life through Spiritual Principles and Practices, not through the expectations of others. *You love and accept yourself as you are in every area right now!

Heart Vibrations Healing offers Spiritual Coaching. If you need Professional Guidance, please contact your Medical Practitioner. We are not licensed therapists at Heart Vibrations Healing .

Have you ever noticed that those people who are passionate and enthusiastic about their family, career, spirituality, causes, home, interests,etc.. seem to almost know a secret to living their lives to the fullest? Maybe they do! They live according to their personal values, zest for life, and speak from their heart. They are authentic! Following what others are doing is a habit and lacks creativity. Here are a few suggestions to get out of a rut and into exhilarating authenticity: * State as soon as you awaken what kind of day you intend to have and follow your plan! *Begin now talking to yourself as if you are your own best friend! Think that way to yourself too! *Instead of viewing situations as difficult, choose to see all situations as silver linings and be grateful you can re-focus and change the shape of the situation! *Start keeping a written successful intention journal of new ways to live your life in EVERY area of your life! *Create new affirmations out of old degrading self statements. If you think, I am not good enough to do this job create: I am a whiz at my career!!!! You can only change mental messages one message at a time but it has to be practiced consistently! *Believe believe believe in yourself as you are NOW!

For the next week or two, WRITE or TALK into a tape recorder and 1. Describe how you feel and act when you are living out of Truth. Describe how you feel and act when you are living out of Ego or Fear. —Describe how you breathe/do not breathe; describe your self talk; describe how you walk, how your body feels; describe how you react or respond if someone you place in an authority role tries or does push your buttons; describe your level of energy;describe the tone , volume of your voice; describe the types of words you use Do this for both Walking In Truth and Walking In Fear scenarios _ When you become aware of the authentic you in your truth and the fearful you in the ego, you are creating a sacred shift of personal empowerment. You are channeling an opening for a shift in your thinking which will be followed by actions. Once we know our personal truth vs. our limiting, self defeating Ego and Fear Self, we do not really have to do anything. We live out of our Truth and we are authentic. Should we choose to go back to our old way of living life, we will remember how empowerment felt and return to it.

It is the practice that creates the change in us! Practice self defeating actions and behaviors, and we will get what we have always gotten. Practice Self Loving and Empowered Strategies and Techniques, and we walk in balance, in authenticity. As always, we get to choose. What is your choice? Love or Fear?? .

Walking Beside You On the Journey, Jennye

Jennye

If you may be questioning if you really came out of a healthy or a dysfunctional family, I offer you this insight from research by Dr. Janet Kizziar ,Psychologist. She states that “In a healthy family system, family members openly acknowledge their problems, discuss them openly, and work toward change. They believe change is acceptable, and actively solicit workable solutions from other family members.” “In dysfunctional families, parents violate the boundaries of their children. Parents from these families do not respect their children’s personal freedom and privacy, they discount their children’s feelings, do not honor their attempts at independent thinking and decision-making, and do not allow them to experience their impulses toward creativity, spirituality and self actualization. These deficits in the children’s development are revisited by problems in their adult relationships and careers, and with raising their own families.”

When looking at our behaviors that we finally accept are no longer working in our lives, we have choices. We can do nothing and go on self destructing, staying stuck, or being victimized (by our own behaviors). We can choose to change or we can choose to transform. I want to give you some examples of each of these choices, so read on….

Nature can teach us so many life lessons! Once a cocoon becomes a butterfly, once a duckling becomes a swan, and once a tadpole becomes a frog, the transformation never reverses! We do the same thing. Once we become aware of a behavior that no longer fits into our authenticity, we choose to transform. It is not really that we have to do much of anything…we make a decision that the old way is not working, that it does not fit who we have become! We are aware, acknowledge the awareness, and accept this to be our Truth. Perhaps we have always eaten pickles with our fruit. Once we are aware eating this combination, makes us sick to our stomach, we decide to stop. However it has been our habit for 35 years! So we wake up and our brain tells us to have the same old combination of pickles and fruit. We start to eat it, then we remember we have made a decision to stop so this time we do not follow through with it. We did not get sick based on our decision. The next time we start to revert to the pickles and fruit, we have a memory that the last time we chose to avoid this sickening combo and we feel the pleasurable feeling in making a different, healthier choice. We continue choosing a different way to eat our fruit and then one day we realize we have not even thought about eating pickles with fruit for 2 months! Our choice has transformed and has been transmuted from greater than change into a conscious choice. All we had to do was to become aware, breaking our pattern of denial into acknowledgment and willingness , and making a decision. Then we had experiences on which we reflected upon when we made different choices. After making healthier and more pleasurable choices, our transformation was created!!! Simple but we love to complicate life, don’t we!

It is my belief that most people want the easy way out. We can complain of our circumstances (job, relationship,health, etc.), re-tell our sad story to anyone who will listen as we glorify what happened to us and who did what to us, and live the life of Woe Is Me Blues. We can choose this way of life and I guarantee you we will stay stuck in our own quicksand because we want to blame someone else for our situations and refuse to ever take responsibility for our lives in the present. Living in this manner reinforces what a victim we are, have always been, and will always be!

We have to start somewhere, so perhaps we decide to change how we have been acting toward others. Change is a good start. However consider this: I can change my clothes, change my address, change my mind, or change my marital status. Change does not necessarily guarantee that I will do these things forever. Why would I consider changing? I believe it is because what I have always done has not given me the results I want! If I start to consider change, fears may jump into my Face and question : WHO will I be if I change? WHAT will happen? Will the same people in my life still be there if I change??? Sometimes our fears will be so overwhelming that we decide the familiar ways, though not working in our lives, may be better than changing to the unfamiliar. Our choice will be to walk in Courage through the Fear and Trust that the other side will be better than what we are currently doing or we will choose to stay on the same road we have been on…the one that we are aware does not really work! We can choose to listen to Sister or Brother Fear and slither back into the familiar and hope our lives get better and somehow we find happiness without doing anything differently. By the way “insanity is repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting different results.”

We are on the pathway of Authenticity together, you and I. Choosing self- integrity, self-honesty, and being of service for each other is globally empowering. Once we reach new levels of authenticity, we can share in a loving,non egotistical way our experiences. By doing so, we ensure the next generations to come that Transformation of Spirit not only is possible, but is our Human Evolution of Spiritual Growth into Becoming One With Each Other! I am so grateful to be alive to experience your Transformation as you experience mine!

Walking Beside You On the Journey,Jennye

Jennye

Parents, teachers, bosses, present and ex mates, and various others helped to form the inner critic when those people responded or voiced their opinions of us, and we heard it enough times that it became ingrained in our minds. We eventually accepted those messages as facts and our Inner Critic was developed. Is it fair to go on blaming THEM in our adulthood? Why does that Inner Critic seem to show up right at the worst moments? Moments like walking into a social gathering, preparing for an evaluation or a test, going out with someone we like, right before an interview, in the middle of a project, etc…..this is when that loud mouth inner critic raises objections of who we are, how secure we could be but are not, how many times we have tried and failed, etc. No matter how hard we try to make that IC shut up, go away, it just seems to talk louder than any of the other voices that live in our head!

Some part of us has bought hook, line, and sinker into the false belief that our Inner Critic may just be right….that we cannot trust ourselves, our decisions, our choices. We bought into the lie that we cannot succeed, that we are lazy,that we are not good enough, that we are doomed to be less than, and that being our individual selves is not valid in our world!! Have you ever noticed how the Inner Critic speaks in the second person? It never says “I”…it says YOU are never going to do life right….YOU are heartless and so selfish in relationships…YOU will never become the person you were created to be…YOU are a fake and not authentic!!!

What if you could believe that your Inner Critic really is on your side! What if our Inner Critic is only trying to protect us and take care of us! I believe it is true! Our Inner Critic does not want us to fail again or be hurt, humiliated as we have in our past…so it gives us messages that it thinks will protect us from that happening again! Of course it only knows how to deliver those messages in a negative, condescending manner because that is the nature of its source!!! So now that you know what its intentions are, could you befriend your Inner Critic instead of trying to run, hide, and ignore it which by the way will never work anyway!

First, stop denying you have an Inner Critic! Next do a 15-20 minute exercise identifying your IC; take out paper and pen and answer these questions: 1. What feeds it or what does it eat? 2. Where in you does it live? 3. What are its favorite mantras about you? 4. Does it have a gender? 5. Draw a picture of it. ****If you are a people pleaser, intend to not be super nice in doing this exercise! Write any awarenesses you have gotten from this exercise about your Inner Critic….

Now you have a better idea of how deep into your subconscious your Inner Critic is. You can choose to view and act in a new, empowered way! – Instead of being so serious when your IC gives you a negative message, respond back with something like: I know I need an updated haircut and I am overweight but I am going to the party/wedding/etc. anyway..and I am going to have a blast! -Thank your Inner Critic and say: Thanks for all your great advice. As a reward I am sending you on an all expenses paid vacation to Bali and when you return you can give me more of your insights into myself!!! -Instead of arguing with your Inner Critic about how it is lying about you, simply be the observer without compassion for the Inner Critic by saying ..hmmm most interesting! Finally, ask these two important questions: 1. What do you need from me right now? 2. What can you do to help me right now? -

I will tell you that my own history includes emotional abuse to my psyche and I really have tamed my Inner Critic. There are times I choose to re-visit the exercise I presented to you. I call those times the trigger times.Once in a while, I get triggered by someone, a situation, and my Inner Critic jumps in trying to protect me it her special way! Like me, I am sure you are willing to go to any lengths to honor your journey and live an authentic life. The greatest reward in befriending my Inner Critic has been that I have learned and chosen to love those parts of myself that I once judged as unlovable! I am so excited that you, too, are choosing to love all of you!!!!

Walking Beside You On the Journey,Jennye

Jennye

Our arrogant, self righteous ego will adamantly scream that we do not need to do any more work on ourselves. It will tell us we ARE transformed and can freely rest on our laurels! Furthermore, the know -it-all Ego will inform us that we do not need to take time to reflect and check in with ourselves daily to make sure we are humble, treating each and every person with love and kindness, practicing integrity and honesty, and showing respect not only to others but to ourselves! Our lying ego will tell us we do not need to take time out of our busy day to pray and meditate; it will tell us we do not need help from anyone for we are Wise and Powerful..and have all the answers for ourselves as well as everyone else! We run our own show brilliantly! That Ego will demand we hold onto resentments and hold on to people, situations, and things that no longer mirror our Authenticity. Oh.that Ego never stops blowing its own horn! So who are you listening to today: Ego or Divine Self???

Experiencing JOY is an inside job, and starts with each of us. Examples of life long patterns of believing we do not deserve joy can be: *You do not give yourself enough attention *You find numerous distractions in order to ignore yourself *You look into the mirror and see flaws, imperfections, and defects. *When you feel depressed, sad, or frustrated you tell yourself to just get over it and demand you just stop without looking at the underlying aspects. *You stuff your feelings by overworking, over or under eating, relationshipping, spending money on things you do not really need, zoning on television…..(name your own Devil to fill in the blank of how you stuff feelings)

When you do something that feels so good that you shout out: HELL, YES! …that is JOY! Here are some of the things that are JOY ENHANCERS for me: -Watching a river flow -Laughing with a child or with someone who , like me, lets their inner child OUT! -Seeing an elderly person smile -Watching kittens play when they do that sideways move! -Dancing my socks off -Staying up until after midnight watching the first snow of the season -Feeling great to be the real ME!!!! What makes you feel JOY? The secret now is to hold onto that feeling and expand it to other areas of your life! Ready and willing????

Joy happens only in the present moment, not in the future or the past. Accept that whatever is going on in your life in the present….you created to learn from and to grow from! STOP Right now call upon your soul, your Divine Within, or Creator.. and request to be shown love, joy, acceptance, peace, and harmony. You may have to put out the intention that you are willing to RECEIVE Let go of being the victim to your past pain. Release your fears! Take time to rest and be quiet. Play Time is essential!!! Write a gratitude list daily! Be Kind to others and Be Kind to YOU!

I freely will tell you I do not experience joy 100% of the time! However, I am experiencing it more than I have in my past! This year has been such a transformational year personally for me! From January until December it has been one change after another, and I am so very grateful that I did not give up before major miracles happened in my life! Speaking of miracles, this time of year is filled with thousands of miracles daily! Actually every day is filled with thousands of them! When we each live joyfully we do not miss them! I wish you each Merry Christmas, Happy Winter Solstice, Joyful Holidays, and an extremely Transformative closing of 2011 as we each open to receive love and joy in 2012!!!!

Walking Beside You On the Journey,Jennye

A recent research project conducted via telephone surveys by two psychology professors asked people aged 19-103 to talk about their greatest regrets in life. “The most commonly cited regrets involved romance (18%) – lost loves or unfulfilled relationships. Family regrets came in second (16%), with people still feeling badly about being mean to their siblings in childhood. Other frequently reported regrets involved career (13%), education (12%), money (10%) and parenting (9%).” Furthermore, the study validated what previous studies have shown: that the regrets over inaction(not doing something people wish they had done) stay in the mind longer and action(words/actions that people wish they had not done) regrets are in recent time frames. So the question I pose to you is how do we heal our regrets, how do we move forward, and how do we use our experiences as a catalyst to live authentically?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”(Mark Twain) I have long believed a mistake is only a mistake if we choose to not learn from it. When we each take responsibility for our part, make amends by CHANGING our behavior…not just by saying “I am sorry”, and move forward with self forgiveness, we will more easily let go of that re-playing of past regrets in our thoughts.

When we accept, embrace, and honor the fact that — We were each created to learn from and rise above prior situations instead of dwelling on the negative perspectives of our past actions and inactions. –We can write with paper and pen what REALLY happened, look at what our motives were THEN, and choose to live life differently when the next opportunity presents itself — Accept and affirm that each of us are the only ones who can truly choose to be happy and peaceful in any given situation.Letting go of the idea that it is another person or material aspect that makes us happy is such a freeing and simple action! –Visualize and write about how your life can be different if you forgive yourself for things you wish you had not said or done; and for things you did not do; Now act out of that visualization and you are the Authentic YOU!

Perhaps we stay attached to our past and the old way of living life because it is so familiar. Just because it is familiar, does not mean it is working in our present life! Did you know that the choices, actions, and words you used during those times you still regret were the best option you had at that time???? That person no longer exists in the Present! Just for today and just for this moment, you can decide and act upon making choices based on what you can give, not what you can take from any situation. When we act out of SERVICE in any relationship, we are releasing the EGO’s need to be demanding, controlling, and “Right”. Service and Love are always winning disciplines over Fear and Anger!!!

Deep within my spirit and soul, I believe that when I and you choose to instead of dwelling on what was, what might have been…make the daily choice to view each opportunity with limitless gratitude, we will have that AHA moment, finding the doorknob that was once invisible to us. That doorknob opens a new, exciting door to which we can hold our heads up and smile within our hearts as we live authentically. Now I know you are deserve finding your next door and I rejoice with you!

Walking Beside You On the Journey,Jennye

Jennye